The inconvenience of convenience.

Taking the tram to work is the most convenient mode of transport for me, in terms of speed, traffic and parking fee avoidance. However, it is also a reminder that we humans for all our advancements are mere animals who forget all our usual boundaries concerning of personal space and decorum when it comes to everyday activities such as getting to work.   

Having just had someone jab me in the back with their ridiculously oversized handbag, I toss my head in despair and think no she didn’t roll my eyes and give her my best death stare and ask “Really?” She backs off the most she can -  about 1 mm – and keeps glancing at me nervously for the entire 10 minutes we must share atoms. I am standing beneath a fellow sweaty passenger’s armpit and read another’s WhatsApp message as she pretends not to hear the impatient request from commuters hoping to get on the already packed tram, I let out a sigh and ask the universe why it is punishing me so. Seriously people won’t look you in the eye or even say hi before brushing up against you, making you smell them and accidentally on purpose sharing their oh so glam social media pics and engaging in rather personal conversations quite loudly e.g “…my man’s just been sent down and I don’t know what I’m going to do about the rent.” As amused as I am by other people’s lives I would rather be at home reading a book or thinking up ways in which I can heal the world and I can’t help thinking how inconvenient life’s conveniences are.

Take for example convenience food which Uncle Wikipedia tells me is “commercially prepared (often through processing) to optimise ease of consumption…. Including ready-to-eat dry products, frozen foods such as TV dinners, shelf-stable foods, prepared mixes such as cake mix, and snack foods.” Thanks to our dear brothers’ industrialisation, technology and capitalism convenience foods are thriving, but what are they doing to us? Slowly killing us that’s what and taking the joy and challenge out of providing sustenance for oneself both of which are fundamentals, in my humble opinion, to our stability. Imagine explaining to a caveman that rather than preparing tools for his hunt developing crucial skills in the process while satisfying the human need to be useful and getting all pumped up with his boys for their adventure ahead filled with social interactions and stories to keep the young’uns entertained for generations he could simply pop over to the shops buy some sugar filled synthetic yumminess that will fill him up for a bit, damage his health but leave him plenty of time to sit about indulging in idle gossip and other pointless activities. I am sure he would worry for our sanity.  I’ll admit I often consume and condone consumption of convenience foods for convenience although I know I am definitely inconveniencing my body and health. Why can I not just stop the madness?

On a personal heart and growth level I have conveniently stopped blogging and creating because I was too busy being inconvenienced by life which has severely inconvenienced my soul. I started off saying that I would get back to writing in a week, I was just taking a break to get used to my new schedule but the longer I stayed away from it the more I filled my life with less soul satisfying things like worry, guilt, Netflix and random staring into space, but something was always missing, and I knew what it was it just took a little while for me to admit it to myself. As a person who likes to analyse and learn lessons and move on (no matter how long it takes) I have accepted the lesson here which is life is about balance, it’s about change, adaptability and finding out what matters to you and what needs are being met. While I loathe the tram at rush hour I have learned to endure it and be thankful for it as I means I get to the place that provides me with my monthly pay. To amuse myself more than anything, now I smile at people and say hi some smile back others back away and give me space, either way I am winning! As for food I am taking baby steps to reduce convenience to find the balance that works for my constitution.

There will always be good versus evil, yin and yang, bitter and the sweet, deficit and surplus. It’s about balance.

Happy balancing x

If you need help balancing I am offering free coaching sessions this month to the first 3 people to reach out,

smilelifemgt@gmail.com

Age ain't nothing but a number.

Aaliyah was a wise one!

Sitting in my office I looked around and found myself swimming in a sea of youth. The more I thought about the age difference the less confident I became in my ability to swim and thus headed for the edge of the pool wondering if I should clamber out of the pool or silently sink to the bottom and give up. I began to feel old-ish and question what I had let myself in for when the wise words of a songstress who kept me dancing throughout the 90s and early noughties came to mind “Age ain’t nothing but a number”. After playing the song in my mind for a few minutes, mentally bobbing my head, I made the decision to pick up some arm bands swim back boldly into the midst of the pool, get to know my colleagues and the organisation I will be with for 3 months, learn something new and join the young’uns in this exciting adventure of finding our wings and soaring whilst making a difference in our community and getting paid for the privilege. Once I turned my fear and insecurity into positivity and gratitude everything began to make sense and I was happily back on the road to my goal to improve myself so that I can provide for my family and affect positive change in the lives of others.

Based on the lives of those who have been through this journey of life before us and the opinions of those who, deservedly or undeservedly, have influencing platforms general benchmarks of when we should have achieved job security, financial stability, wedded bliss, spiritual balance, mental clarity, maturity, self-actualization etc are set in our minds. As I make my way through life I am understanding that there is no set order in the way of things. Our paths are as unique as our fingerprints and this is where the beauty lies. While there is a wealth of knowledge to be gained from those who have gone before, the unknown, the new, the path less travelled have lessons aplenty that can flourish in ways that you never expected. I am learning new things daily working in this young hip office, adding to my qualifications and experience, I am able to share the knowledge that I have and it is a great networking opportunity for my life coaching business. It’s also helping me step out of a box that I did not fully realise I was operating within.

We can have as many plans as we want in life of how we want our lives to go and it is good to plan so that we can direct our efforts accordingly but life has a way of throwing bumps and deviations on our paths, not so much to halt us as to help us grow in the way that we need to. Trusting God’s plan/ the process/the Universe’s leading and being open to growth and change all while being grateful helps us realise that things are as they are meant to be, we have the power to change any situation we find ourselves in and it all begins with thoughts. Our thoughts create our realities. I should also mention that the way in which I came to be in this job is a little miracle which lets me know that it is truly meant for me.

Another great Aaliyah lyric - if at first, you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again. If you are reading this I can confirm that you are alive, therefore you can do and be whatever you want to be, all you have to do is try, life will make a way for you if you stay consistent in your efforts with contentment and gratitude in your heart.

If there is anything you think you cannot do because of your age, size, race, gender, economic status I challenge you to join me in proving yourself wrong until all your limiting beliefs are proved null and void.