Showing posts with label #breakup. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #breakup. Show all posts

Thursday, 30 March 2017

Breathe … It’s life.

Pausing for a minute, an hour, a week or even a year is something we do less and less in this microwave one-click culture we have created. We want everything now and are led to believe if we don’t have it or can’t get it now we are somehow inferior or less deserving of success and all the good stuff. I know time waits for no man and truly these days you blink and there’s a new iPhone out but we can get so busy trying to keep up we lose focus of what really matters to us and makes a difference to the way we experience life. On the flipside, there is the rebirth of the Nokia 3310 symbolising a return to slowing down and simplifying of life to me. I remember a time when there were no mobile phones and therefore we were uncontactable for the majority of the day sometimes even days if we were relying on the post. Life didn’t stop, there was no FOMO, you simply were where you were and got to hear great stories about events you were unable to attend.

I used to love receiving and writing letters the waiting gave me something to look forward to and the writing helped me process events whilst practising an actual skill. Now the only letters I receive are bills and emails are nothing to look forward to. With all the advances in technology and communication devices we are losing some basic language skills like spelling and talking, I know I used an acronym before, I too am occasionally a culprit. Messaging or IM or whatever the kids are calling it has killed conversation, I would love to sit down and have long phone or one on one conversations with people but there is just not enough time in the day, what it is I am busy doing I could not tell you. There is so much pointless distraction out here.

Browsing through magazines in a shop the other day I read an article warning about the danger of rapid weight loss and fad diets and how they speed up the ageing process. As a “passive diet addict” (I plan diets that I will attempt sometime in the future to unleash my inner size 8 who has never and possibly never will be seen) this was reason enough for me to journey towards getting happy with myself as I am and focus on health and increased enjoyable physical activity. The magazine had pictures of celebrities who have achieved and some over-achieved their weight loss goals and added years to their looks in the process. I am not a medical professional but to me that signifies that something isn’t quite right. Slow and steady wins the race, I want to stay looking as young as I can for as long as possible, although my grey hairs are telling on me lately.

I sometimes catch myself holding my breath and need to remind myself to breathe. It’s normally when I am over thinking, worrying, stressed or anxious about something. The fact that I am thinking so much that I am cutting off the one thing I cannot live without tells me that I need to pause and simply just breathe.  What good does thinking or worrying actually do? As someone who suffers from anxiety, I can tell you it does no good at all, this does not mean that knowing this I don’t worry it just means I acknowledge my worries and move forward the best I can asking for help if needed.


We have a lot to gain from slowing down. Call someone or invite them over for a drink. Tell a story,  breathe.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

Breaking up.



A Lulu Sanusi original …. Spoken word mixtape dropping soon.


I am breaking up with sugar
Because it makes me sad
At first it brings me so much joy
Then knocks me out with pain
It doesn’t know my name.
Since we became an item my body and mind
They’ve changed
This dependency, it’s killing me
I know I am to blame
I’ve been cheating on my size 8 frame
The truth is out, hooray I shout
I set me free
I create my destiny.

**Finger snaps**


I found this poem in a journal of mine. It made me LOL, then question my sanity, then appreciate the deepness and realise this can be applied to all types of relationships.

How much thought do we give to the relationships we decide to enter whether they be with other people, food, drink or material things. I personally don’t give it too much thought (or at least that’s what I thought until I started thinking about it) I’m a dive in and deal with the consequences as they come type of person. It has meant that I have had a lot of fixing to do, Olivia Pope would be so proud, I have often found myself in very awkward situations some very funny others not at all funny, because of relationships I should not be in or I should have amended.

It’s normally only when something goes wrong that I begin to question why I even know a person or needed to have that cup of coffee with sugar and a chocolate or muffin.  In trying to figure out the relationship game, life has taught me honesty is the best policy and it's mainly honesty with myself. When you enter any relationship it’s for a reason. You need to pay bills, you get a job or someone who can pay them for you. You feel lonely, you start talking to that person you walk past every day or you buy that chocolate fudge cake.  Know why you are going into a relationship, take responsibility for it and when things no longer feel right remove yourself or redefine it. I have stayed in relationships just so I don’t hurt others feelings but I was hurting me by not being authentic, now that I realise my worth I know it is much kinder to let things and people go graciously.

Human beings are funny things. We know what and who is not good for us but we keep holding on, hoping something or someone will change. As Maya Angelou, one of my personal sheroes said, “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.” The only thing we have control over is ourselves, how we act, react, show up and present ourselves. Self-mastery is what we are aiming for here people, and if you are not, what are you doing here? Seriously.

I am addicted to sugar and have been for a while. My relationship with sugar is that of a child to their comforter. It is my go to. I must either work on redefining my relationship or cut all ties, neither option will be easy. Sugar is everywhere… milk, bread, granola, wine, fruit juice … basically everything nice. A complete breakup is hard, but not breaking up may be harder especially as it affects my mental, emotional, and physical health. To redefine this relationship, I will take a break from “hardcore” sugar and seek comfort in human beings, I heard being social animals this can work for us, I shall choose wisely. Sometime in the future, sugar and I will be able to have a conversation maybe even laugh about old times but I know we can never go back to how it used to be because we will have moved on. I will let you know how this is going.

Be good to you, that is the most important relationship you have, it sets the tone for all other relationships in your life.

If you need advice or a human being in your life please feel free to mail me smilelifemgt@gmail.com